Loneliness is something that, for one reason or another, almost all people feel at one time in their lives. Around the Holidays this feeling can be intensified greatly because, well, the Holidays are a time when people are used to ‘being together’ and if you don’t have someone ‘special’ in your life it can intensify those feelings of being all alone in the world.
If you’re lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender you have probably already experienced a lot of loneliness in your life. People who are questioning their sexual identity also can experience intense feelings of being completely alone in the world and, truthfully, this is quite normal. Being ‘different’ sexually doesn’t mean that you will be any more or any less lonely than if you were ‘straight’ but it does seem to exaggerate the feelings somewhat.
The simple truth of the matter, however, is that you are only as alone as you want to be. Being part of the LGBTQ community means that, indeed, you are part of a community! There are literally thousands and thousands of people out there just like you who may be feeling the same emotions as you are right now. Reaching out to them, through groups, online, in community organizations and so-forth is very easy today with the internet.
And after all, having a little extra money to spend on yourself and buying that special little something you have had your eye on the last several months isn’t all that bad….is it? I don’t want to diminish or invalidate feelings here but I do want to add a little perspective.
In all seriousness however we realize that the Holidays, while they’re supposed to be filled with joy and laughter, can be difficult, especially if you are feeling distanced from your family because they don’t understand your lifestyle or perhaps you don’t feel like you belong. Your best bet is to not sit around and feel sorry for yourself, at least not for too long. Get up and get out there, go visit mom and dad if it’s possible, give an old friend a call even if things are a little different now. Hey, just because you’re a little different doesn’t mean that you’re not a good person. I’ve noticed that some folks project rejection onto everyone because they reject themselves. In fact, what you do in the privacy of your bedroom isn’t why someone decided to be your friend to begin with; it was something much, much more valuable and meaningful to them. Now I realize that may not always be the case but you have to be willing to take the chance and give your friends the benefit of the doubt.
Yes the Holidays are a tough time and being part of the LBGTQ community may make them a little tougher but the fact is that they will pass and soon a new year, with new hopes and possibilities, will be starting. If you’re really lonely and can’t find another human to interact with I can give you one great idea before signing off; volunteer at an animal shelter. Dogs and cats don’t care if you’re queer and they always need a little love no matter the time of year. Happy Holidays.